My first Sunday Post - Mission Impossible

“You cannot control what happens to you, but you can control your attitude toward what happens to you, and in that, you will be mastering change rather than allowing it to master you.” – Brian Tracy

Well it’s Sunday June 27, 2010 and I skipped any writing on Wednesday. I’ve basically gotten to the point where I’m not sure what my next move will be; I spent five hours at the mall on Wednesday applying for jobs and picking up apps – I had a stack of resumes that got me a lot of funny looks. I have gotten five calls after that day for interviews (most of which are on Tuesday) and hopefully that will lead to a second (and maybe third) job. This will hopefully mean that I can pay all my bills and slowly (I reiterate – slowly) pay off the small but crushing debt I have (an overdue credit card, electric bills, phone bills, $500 in fees from my ex-bank, and Winter’s tuition). I have tuition mostly covered for fall semester (thank you Government loans, finally), but I have an issue… I still haven’t paid off my tuition from winter 2010 semester; I owe about $3,000 in tuition that my parents were going to pay… but they can’t. Part of the reason that they can’t is because I was unemployed for about 3 weeks. During that time I got behind on bills and now I have to beg them for some assistance. This means that neither me nor my parents are able to pay any of this tuition, something that is going to hurt my credit (like my ex-bank is doing) and inhibit me from attending school this fall (the part that is covered).

What happens if I can’t go to school is devastating (to me); I can’t be the President of the Economics Club (a position I’ve been dreaming of and finally attained), I won’t be able to get my internships next summer (will hurt my career), I won’t be able to be on the debate team (no free trips with my good friends… plus it’s really good experience), and I get behind on my education (I’m already going to be in school for a long time with my masters and Ph. D.). The thought behind dropping a semester is this: I could work full time during that semester and save up enough money to pay for winter and be good then… right? Well here’s the catch: I already plan to be working 40+ hours while in school to cover expenses, if I don’t go to school I will only be able to work slightly more hours and will be able to more almost nothing to save to pay off winter – winter’s tuition is just too high a dollar amount after taxes and bills hit my income. The issue is then that I won’t be able to go back after skipping fall because I will be stuck with bad credit (already happening) and with bills and no way to pay off winter – this means I will probably spend the rest of my life making minimum wage or just above and not accomplish any of my goals. This thought sends me into tears.

I have uncovered one possible solution: get a private loan to cover winter and some other expenses. This means that I could go to school and support myself (through my employment), I wouldn’t be asking anyone for money and I could push forward with my life. I applied for a loan by myself, but I do not have enough credit or enough income to get a loan by myself. Federal loans will only cover future semesters and not past (which is what I need), so that is out, but a private loan could be “for fall” and be used for last winter without issue. My only option left: get a cosigner to help me get the loan. My issues: since my dad lost his job he is not an ok cosigner, none of my family members who are capable of being cosigners would and none of them who would are capable. I thought about friends… same issue. I even kind of asked my boyfriend’s mom… no go there too.

So now I’m stuck wondering what I am going to do next, how I can possibly continue school and pay bills. The thought arises: would I have been better off staying at home? The response: living at home was physically and emotionally stressful, it was also hurting my relationship with my parents (we talk so much more now), and I was never home (I’d come home at 2 am after school and work and friends and leave at 6 or 7 am), and it was an hour long drive (plus it is an extra half an hour drive from my parents house to my job in Lansing which means extra money and time). A downside to moving back: my apartment complex will charge me some serious money if I break my lease.

Again, back to my question, what do I do now? Some thoughts: join the military. Not really what I wanted to do, but it would fix my problems. Downside: I may have to skip fall semester + time commitment and possibility of being sent overseas. Upside: I would definitely be able to come back to school & it doesn’t look bad on a resume.

Long shot: if I do get one or more of the jobs I’ve applied for I will be working 40+ hours and then can possibly get a private loan on my own. Downside: with my declining credit score and the debt I have already this will be unlikely.

I am looking into Angel Investing for Education and trying to find out if I could start an Angel Investing company that focuses on education for people who are crazy ambitious but for some reason can’t pay for school. Just curious... I’d love to start that business.

I hate to end this with myself in such a situation, but that is where I am at. I’ve applied for more jobs and will keep doing so until I am making enough money, I will attempt to apply for more loans and if I think of anyone who could cosign I will try to put aside my pride and I will ask them. I will approach this situation with a positive attitude always knowing that no matter what, I will survive. I will achieve my goals because I cannot see my life any other way; it may be hard, but I will have to do it, because that is who I am. I may feel desperate, this situation may seem like there is no way out, but I promise myself and my two blog followers that I will never ever give up. I’m not sure how I will do it, but I will, and through my attitude I will master change. 

-       --    Jessica

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